Moving away from the more serious, spiritual-minded posts,
we have a light, breezy self-help book from the popular Richard Carlson, who
sadly passed away in his prime in 2006.
This book consists of a hundred fairly simple, common sense
tips designed to damage control the fast-paced, competitive, extraverted ways
of modern capitalistic society. Quite a useful, helpful book full of very
traditional Stoic, medieval Christian, or Buddhist principles repackaged for
the micro-managing, daily life minutiae-focused Seinfeld generation, showing
that what’s old is new again and that modernism can use a healthy dose of
perennial wisdom. Basically the book can be summarized as “learn patience,
compassion, and detachment”. (Note that according to William Q. Judge “Humility,
Patience, and Contentment are the first three steps that lead to the door”.) This book is saved from being a collection
of shallow, feel-good truisms by the fact that the author shows a willingness
to introspect. Observing oneself and correcting one’s behavior is no easy task
and the author communicates a sincere desire to engage in this tricky business
of self-amendment. And it’s always good to be reminded of the simple things, which
we often forget and which are not always easy to put in practice. Who has not
become needlessly irritated over the silly foibles of daily life? Somewhat
contrary to the book’s spontaneous, personal, casual approach, I’ve re-organized
the tips into three categories:
Personal attitudes: Forgive your
outbursts; choose the lifestyle that you enjoy; keep your promises; don’t worry
when you spill your drinks (visualize this advance to inure yourself to it);
meditate on gratitude; make light of unpleasant situations; avoid knee-jerk
reactions; nip down sliding situation in the bud; avoid putting yourself down;
learn to let go (detachment); meditate on love; don’t feel victimized; lower
your expectations; don’t go to bed mad; don’t be so self-centered; don’t be so
hard on yourself (perfectionism); action speak louder than words; stay
centered; become less easily bothered; don’t gossip; learn to relativize; speak
with kindness; take life as it comes; don’t constantly evaluate yourself;
behave as if you were being observed; organize your mind; don’t engage in
compulsive thinking; don’t exaggerate your work load; don’t repeat the same
mistakes; learn to appreciate small improvements; avoid making false
assumptions; speak softly; be playful; acknowledge positive accomplishments daily; have a simple hobby; be peaceful;
accept change; don’t be a control freak; learn to defer gratification; reflect
on the mutability of existence (shortness of life)
Relation to others: Set a positive
emotional climate; if you’re nice to your spouse, he or she will help you;
learn from children’s positive traits; be a good listener; don’t worry about
children bickering; don’t overstimulate your children; set a good example to
your children; don’t be too stressed about teenage behaviour; tell people that
you love them; keep good company; agree to disagree; don’t overburden your
relations with negative complaining; be flexible with children; don’t take your
spouse for granted; give in sometimes (compromise); appreciate your in-laws; be
aware of your mood swings; be accepting of your loved ones; accept people’s
quirks; avoid saying how busy you are; be tolerant towards your neighbours;
have empathy for your family members; show your appreciation; don’t hurt people’s
feelings; don’t be overbearing; remind others to treasure life; don’t expect
people to be perfect; don’t expect family members to treat you the same as
other people do; learn from your children; be patient with your landlord of
building manager; reminisce over fond souvenirs, express gratitude for your
home; accept that children need to complain; reverse roles with your spouse;
live every day as it were the last with your family
Practical: Give yourself an extra
ten-minute cushion; maintain privacy boundaries; accept that a house requires
constant maintenance; don’t answer the phone systematically; give something
away, if you buy something new; schedule free time; simplify your life; set
aside personal quality time; decorate your home; explore low-cost activities;
don’t be overly ambitious or acquisitive; don’t do too much; keep work life
separate; schedule caring gestures; have family meetings; don’t over-emphasize
vacations; take moments of sitting still; stay healthy; go camping; don’t
accumulate too many belongings; have a favorite family charity; exercise, get
rid of clutter
varia:
Canada welcomes Syrian refugees
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/canada-officially-welcomes-first-10-000-syrian-refugees-1.2735545
varia:
Canada welcomes Syrian refugees
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/canada-officially-welcomes-first-10-000-syrian-refugees-1.2735545
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